If we cannot grow together, we grow apart. Divorce is not the end of the world; it can be the beginning of a new world. This can only happen if we finish the relationship knowing that we gave it our all. If we have one seed of guilt, we will not create a new life, we will just re-do the old one. We will have the same problems but with a different person.
Commitment is the most important ingredient for anything to be successful, including divorce. Therefore, we need to be honest with ourselves about our own shortcomings and work to heal ourselves. We need to look at where we were not committed. When we are blameless at the completion of a relationship, we do not feel empty. We are filled with a sense of contentment, knowing that we tried our best. Vulnerability is not our weakness, it is our strength, and it is our authenticity.
If children are involved, it is vitally important they do not suffer as a result of our mistakes. It is always better for kids if their birth parents could stay together. However, if the relationship is not healthy, it is better for the children to witness a resolve for a better life.
Though divorce is not as difficult today, because it is considered the norm, it is still challenging for children to see their parents not together. Home needs to be a place of peace and happiness; a refuge from this difficult world. Whatever it takes to make that happen needs to be the priority for all involved.
No matter how prepared we are for an ending, there is always a grief. It is imperative to keep feelings flowing to maintain an open heart while feeling the sorrow. Many people do not know how to express these feelings because all they are aware of is a dull ache, or numbness. Coming through this process allows for the emergence of a stronger, more compassionate human being, with healthy coping skills. Do not be afraid to shed tears. Crying is the river of life. It washes away the concern and brings in the clear.